So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
