my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
