I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
