Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
