oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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