thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
