My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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