Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
pray to the hookup gods
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Your penis caused this!
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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