the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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