When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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