i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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