I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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