Pappa wants mamma naked
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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