that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I have demons in me.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
