with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
