Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
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