Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
He kissed a someone with a penis
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
