I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
