dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
