I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
