You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I need moral support for this bender
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Randomize
