; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
