Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
