I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
