she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I think pants incapable of making pants work
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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