the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
