he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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