So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
