Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
he was CRYING into my vagina
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Randomize
