Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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