i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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