Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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