You're so nebulous sometimes
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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