did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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