I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
