Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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