i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
