I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
