Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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