I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
