every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
