i used baking grease as lip gloss
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She even gives head with a lisp.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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