I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
She needs sedatives and a leash
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
