I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
i now understand why vodka
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
