Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
