I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
