the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
