I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Randomize
