I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
She needs sedatives and a leash
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
