.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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