my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
