Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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