Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
