Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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