glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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